Letter No.4

 Stolas, my dearest,

I arrived almost 20 minutes early to Mystic Hour Club, as always, and I started this letter while waiting for you. I could've been working on getting my thoughts together, to tell you how I feel, but instead I just ordered 6 shots of sweet Tequila. My mind kept telling me that I won't be able to deal with you full sober today. 

It's already 6.58 pm, and there's no sign of you showing up... Maybe I should just leave... I clearly never meant anything to you... I just asked the bartender if anyone left a letter for me, or anything, like we used to when one of us couldn't come. They were very busy making cocktails for everyone at the bar, since it was getting closer to the busiest time of the day. They heard my question and said they didn't know about any letters. So I had to sit back to our table, since there are too many souls at the bar, I didn't even have the chance to flirt with the bartender... I mean, please, Stolee, don't misunderstand this, but they are a very handsome creature. Definitely not better than you, but since you decided to marry my sister, I guess I'll have to look for someone else anyways... And you're clearly not coming, since it's already 7.23 pm. If you arrive this late, my Love, you better have a very good reason. You never should let me, the beauty of Hell, wait for this long. Like my dark Lord, please don't make fun of me. What will these little imps think if I'll keep drinking here alone?

.......................................

After a while I finally saw someone familiar. My greediest customer came to this bar, you can have one guess. Of course it was Mammon... They saw me in the crowd and took a place.

- Why is my favourite fashion designer drinking here alone, Andrealphus? - he asked as he took your place.

- Umm, hello Mammon. I'm just waiting for someone... So would you please mind finding yourself an other seat at an other table?

- Oh come on, Andre! If you'd have a date, they wouldn't let you wait... And also, you wouldn't get drunk before they arrive, and you also probably wouldn't look this depressed about it... I mean Andre, come on, if I have a date, I'm so excited and nervous before they arrive... And also after they arrive. Nevermind. - Mammon giggles. - So why are you lying to me?

- Mammon, I could never lie to you. I'm waiting for someone.

- Do I know this someone? Is it Asmodeus? That lustful monster always wanna "take care" of my dearest one and only Fizzarolli while I'm away for business... When does he arrive? Just so i could prepare for punching him in the face...

- Nooo, Mammon, calm down, it's noone you'd know, don't worry. - I still could never betray you. I've been in love with you since I first met you. 

- Hmmm, sounds interesting. I like to get to know new folks around here. Do you mind buying me a drink please, til your "date" arrives?

- How can you be this greedy Mammon? Basically, you're the richest in all rings of Hell, and you're still asking me to buy you a drink while I'm waiting for my... - I saw you stepping into the bar, fabulous as always, and I instantly forgot what I was trying to say.

- What, Andre? Is he here? What's wrong? - Mammon was turning his head left to right to try to find someone in the bar that could be my date.

- No, I just thought for a second that i saw them, but it was someone else. - I tried to lie, but I'm not the best liar, so I tried to change the topic. - Nevermind. What do you want to drink? - I tried to hide behind the menu so Mammon wouldn't notice me blushing when you looked at me from across the bar. You made demons leave their table so you can have a free table far from ours, but we could still see each other. You didn't look happy. You looked like someone that hasn't slept in 3 days. I hated to see you this way; this depressed. Someone outsider who doesn't know the details of your arranged marriage, would've questioned why you're not happy if you're just about to get married... But I knew the details. I didn't know how it felt for you. But I knew it broke something in me too.

- Andy, darling, are you listening? - Mammon tried to get my attention, but I just couldn't stop my thoughts about you. - I said I'd love to drink a Sex on the beach.

- Yea, sorry, I just zoned out somehow. I'm just starting to realise that my date probably just ghosted me... - I walked to the bar and ordered the cocktail for Mammon, and an other 6 shots of tequila for myself. I realised that there's no way I could make Mammon leave, so we couldn't meet that night, just the two of us.

When I got back to our table, Mammon probably already forgot that I got my heart broken, and they started to talk to me about their concert tours they'd start the next week. You know Mammon, so you know that they can't shut up about themself. When the waitress got our drinks, she handed me a letter too. I looked up at you and saw that you were not drinking anything, you were just waiting for my reaction. I quickly knocked back one shot without thinking, and opened the letter.

- Did your little lover send you a love letter explaining why they didn't come? I mean, it's kind of cute that they try to explain, but if I were you, I wouldn't care. It's rude not to notify you about being late or not coming at all... But it's your date, so I'll just shut up. Cheers! - they raised their glass and started to drink.

I wanted to keep that note here, the one you wrote me when you got to the club, but Mammon would've asked too many questions, so I think I'll save it for an other letter.

Have fun,
Andrealphus ❄️

Letter No.3

Stolas, my dearest,

I had a few days to calm down after we talked and I've been thinking... After all, you know Stolee, this is all my fault... My parents probably would never have met you if I didn't bring you home with me. They probably didn't really pay attention to what being gay means... They knew that your family is rich, and that you're one of Hell's demon princes, so you must be the best choice for their precious princess, my sister. But what about me? Is gay marriage illegal in Hell too? Or were they just ashamed of me being related to them? If it's a sin to be gay, I'm in the right place, this is Hell after all. If we were in a telenovela, i'm pretty sure the narrator would just say "Their love could never be"... But you should know this better than me, since you're always watching those soap operas. I only watched them with you so I could be close to you. I never really understood what you liked in those predictably written overdramatized episodes. Our parents must be right. I'm not welcome in Hell either. I'm just a disgrace to the whole family, I never should've been born.

The only soul I've ever met, that could make me forget how my family treated me was you, Stolas. You always knew how to make me smile. You weren't ashamed of me or being around me. We went out for a drink every week, even when we didn't talk about meeting. We always kept ourselves to our original appointment. Every Friday at 7 pm we found each other at that hidden table in the corner of our favourite bar in town, called Mystic Hour Club. We reserved that table for every Friday 7 pm, forever, yet the two of us never talked about meeting there again. We were curious if the other would show up. Of course, there were times when one of us was busy that time, but even then we had our trip to the club to give a letter to the bartender - to give the other in case they'll show up. I loved this set-up. Because you always showed up. When you didn't, you had some urgent business to take care of, but you left me a meaningful love letter every time.

After you told me you'll marry my sister, I didn't want to go to that bar ever again. But I didn't want to let you go yet. So I asked my servants to help me get myself together for the day. My chef brought me an Irish cream coffee, to start the day with some refreshing caffeine with some anti-soberness in it. I made a perfect ball of ice and dropped it into the crystal glass. These folks have only been working for me for a few days, but they knew me already. Alcohol at any time of the day. I need it. The others set me up a helluva hot bubbly bath with my favourite coffee-vanilla scented winter and galaxy themed bath bomb. After those little imps dried my feathers, I chose my neatest royal blue evening gown with the porcelain white rhinestones sewn onto it by hand. Grabbed my freshly cleaned teal furcoat, put my crystal tiara on my head and asked a runner to walk me to the gate of my ice cage. I turned around, thanked them for their service, and told them to tell everyone to go home to their families for the rest of the day. I looked at my mighty palace one more time before leaving. I told the guards that they get extra money if they do the night shift today, without letting anyone close to my castle. I finally left Windy Tips for the first time this week.

I arrived in town a little late, it was 5.13 pm already when I arrived at my shop. Thankfully I was clever enough to only leave one appointment in my calendar for the week, one of my most sympathetic, recurring client, Asmodeus. He ordered a sexy leather outfit for his next show at Ozzie's. Crimson mid-thigh high leather boots, fishnet stockings, a black miniskirt, with a white shirt, crimson jacket and a black bowtie. I also sent his famous show hat to my best cleaner and my assistant made sure everything's ready for today's fitting.

- Andrealphus, may I ask why you're la- Oh, nevermind, you look more stunning than ever. Is it a special occasion tonight? Who are you meeting? - asked Ozzie as soon as he spotted me on the street.

- Not here, Asmodeus, you naughty demon of gossips. - I pushed him into my store, turned on the most beneficial lights and prepared his outfit for him to try on.

- Uuhh, sounds like someone important.

I had no idea what to say to this, because I knew if Ozzie found out about us, half the town would've known in a few hours. I just closed the curtains, so noone can see this majesty change, and gave him the pieces one by one. He tried to maintain the smalltalk, so he could learn some new gossip in town, but I didn't tell him anything about us. When he realised I'm not someone who'd just say their secrets, he closed the topic by telling me how much he loves the outfit, and that I must bring my "date" with me to Ozzie's for the show that night. My dear Stolee, I could never betray you this way, so I kindly refused the offer, and told Ozzie the price of the outfit. He tried to pay me with free tickets for his show - as always, but when I told him I needed real money, he acted resentful, and offered me some of his specialties, starting with a robotic Fizzarolli, but he even offered his services. You know, my Love, the usual, "butt stuff, piss play, bondage"... To which I again had to say no, since a little funtime won't buy me raw material, neither will it buy me precious alcohol.

- Oh, Andy, my darling, I was just kidding. You know, my one and only Fizzyboi wouldn't like me cheating on him in any ways. But I'm sure he'd be more than happy to take part in a threesome with a gorgeous fella like you, if you'd change your mind.

After he finally paid for the outfit and offered a free night for us at Ozzie's again, he finally left and I went to the mirror to fix my face before going to our club. It's a mystery to me why I choose going to that place again. I probably wanted to give you one more chance. I know my dearest Stolee, if you love me truly, you won't be happy to hurt me.

I hope one day I'll be able to recover from this relationship, but for now I feel like I'd finally deserve something good happening to me too.

With all my love,
Andrealphus ❄️

Letter No.2

Stolas, my dearest,

After that incident at the bar, I felt really bad. I'm not this monster. I've never killed anyone before, and I was never planning to. But the thought of losing you is killing me. My brain decided to not accept bullying from anyone, it doesn't let me be hurt by anyone anymore without consequences - except for you. Technically it was not you who hurt me this bad. It's our royal parents' decisions. But this one includes you too. Trust me, I hate them even more than I could ever hate you. I haven't ever had the best relationship with them. They always just wanted to find a good and wealthy husband for my sister. But what about me? When they found out I'm gay, they excluded me from every family gathering and family decisions... I had no right to speak in that household. I've never told you this, because I never wanted you to feel like any of this was because of our friendship or relationship - whatever you want to call it. We never even decided what we call ourselves. Probably this is why our parents both thought that you're single. But Stolee, I still can't understand... Why did you have to accept their decision? You could've said no. We're not 16 anymore, you can have a word, especially if some decisions about you. Come on, my Dear, didn't you feel anything? Didn't I mean anything to you? Or was I just someone to kill time with? I'm not even sure if I want to know the answers to any of these... These thoughts are just killing me internally anyways.

When the bar was closing, my bartender offered me a ride home, but I refused. I didn't want to go home anymore. My family wouldn't even miss me, they're looking straight through me since I've came out to them... All my wealth has nothing to do with them. I started my own business after finishing school, at first I gave out free fashion advice for those poor imps... They probably told their bosses, who told their bosses, til the most famous demons from all Hell came to me for advice, just to name one of them, Mammon. Mammon is my number one customer, they always pay twice the price. They're greedy, but for fashion, they can't say no. I built my own business with hard work, and this is what I get? My one and only taken away from me? Nevermind, back to the story.

So I never went home since then. I wanted to feel hell's hot breeze blow through me. My body and my heart felt cold and hurt. Even Hell's unbearable temperature couldn't fix this feeling in me. I wanted to find Hell's coldest point, so my new home could match my internal feelings. I climbed the highest mountains of Lucifer's, and I finally found the spot. The Windy Tips. I found a cave there, filled with Hell's unwanted disgusting homeless creatures. I felt sorry for them - for them being homeless, and for them losing that cave, since I wanted it for my royal self. I made igloos for them, one for each family downhill. This way they had new homes, a little closer to town, so they could go and find a workplace for themselves if they wanted to.

I made an ice cage, starting a few kilometers down from the cave, as high as the tip of the mountain. That cage protected my property. I was drunk and tired after climbing up to this huge mountain in my high heeled boots and long, heavy dress, the snow made my fur coat wet, so it got heavy too. I didn't have any plans on making my new home of ice, so for this night I decided to just sleep in that smelly, messy, dark cave that the helluva homeless hillbillies left behind. My first night on the mountaintop was too lonely. You know, my dearest Stolas, I can't get through a day without someone saying a good word to me... So in the morning I decided to visit those creatures downhill and offer them a job... Or at least most of them. After a short casting, I had my team. I've got cleaners, maids, cooks, runners, guards and everyone I could ever need to live as royal as I can. I made them clean up their mess in the cave, then I told the cook to go shopping for food enough for everyone here. I built my own ice palace around that cave, with huge ice parks and gardens, ice crystal stairs and paths to the top and to the cage's entrance. I have never told anyone about this place, Stolee, but you're welcome here any time. Even now, after I found out you're betraying our friendship. I showed the guards a picture of you, so they could let you in any time. After everything looked good on the outside, it was time to do the inside. I made as many guest rooms as many workers I had around the castle, because I definitely wanted some of them to spend the nights there too, for me not to feel that lonely.

The runners went to shop any furniture or equipment that I couldn't make of ice for myself. You even got your own suite, with the most comfortable furniture you could ever imagine. The whole work was done in one day, but I didn't want to go to work for that whole week. I didn't feel mentally strong enough to walk into my store in town, and talk with customers... I called all my clients to get a new appointment, but I put my VIP customers first. They got the closest free appointments, as always, even if that meant that I had to go in on a weekend, or before or after work hours.

I knew there was an important date for me that week too, and that was what kept me thinking. I had no idea if I still wanted to go there after everything that happened, or if I should've completely disappeared after you told me the decision of our parents.

Why am I even writing these letters if I don't ever want you to read them? I'll freeze them into a wall in my castle to make sure noone will ever see them.

Best wishes,

Andrealphus ❄️

Letter No.1

Stolas, my dearest friend,

You were my only one friend with whom I didn't care about my appearance, I didn't care if my makeup was ruined, I just didn't care, as long as you were there with me. But yesterday you told me that our parents want you to marry my sister. That sentence broke my heart. I imagined our future together, but those freaks had to ruin my happiness again, as they've been doing so since my childhood.

After I said congratulations to you two for the engagement that neither of you ever wanted, I had to say I had plans for the night and I had to go. I didn't actually have plans before... I planned to spend the night with you as we did for many years... Either as friends, either as strangers, or lovers if we wanted. But our parents ruined our little secret for ever. I headed off to the nearest bar with the most expensive cranberry bourbon cocktail. I needed something with whiskey in it, but I needed it to be bloody red this time.

The moment I stepped in, the bartender caught my eye and asked if he could start me up with a tequila shot until he made my first drink. I don't know how he knew, but he did. I haven't even ruined my makeup til then, because i'm not the type that cries publicly, just out on the streets. He placed my tequila on the bar the moment i got there. I didn't even sit down for my first shot. I ordered the cocktail, with ice this time, although Stolas, you know, I never ask for ice, since I love to make my own, funny style icecubes. When I drank alone, I always made the icecubes in the form of your gorgeous face. But this time I couldn't. Even the bartender was surprised when he noticed who I am, he asked twice if I'm sure I need him to put ice in my drink.

After my first few drinks, when I started to open up to my bartender, a pig-like imp came up to me and touched my shoulder.

- Can I buy you a drink, Princess? - he asked in a rusty voice, but the smell, Stolee, you can't even imagine that smell. I'm sure he's been drinking for days there, possibly without leaving the bar. I gathered all my self-confidence, and did my best to hide the urge to kill that guy right away. I cleared my throat, found my most feminine, high pitched voice, and said

- Sure, take a seat. - I pointed to the empty barstool by my side. He cleared his throat and turned to my bartender.

- HEY! You servant! Get me a beer, and for this beautiful lady an other one of that fancy cocktail that she's been drinking for an hour now!

The way he was talking to the nicest bartender I've ever met got me cold shivers, not even speaking of misgendering me for the third time now. But you know, a free drink is a free drink, or even a free drink with the benefits of freezing that piggery's tongue to his glass of beer without the ice ever melting. That would probably kill him in a few hours, since he couldn't close his mouth, neither could he hydrate it again. The bartender noticed, and he looked me in the eyes, but I nodded towards him that I've got this, I can deal with that son of a bitch myself. So when that little imp paid for both of our drinks, I poked him so he would leave a generous tip for our bartender, who did his best. After him putting all his money on the bar, he turned to me and tried to kiss me on the lips. But I was faster. I put my ice cold hands on his lips, freezing his lips together forever. He left the bar immediately.

But you know, Stolee, I'm not a monster. And I'm also not mad at you. I'm mad at our parents who can't see their kids' happiness... They only see money, and only want their name to live on. Oh my dear, I hope you can find happiness with my little sister. But you already broke my heart, please don't break hers, or our parents' hearts... That would lead to family wars, but you're the one that knows it exactly.

I hope this letter will never find you, my Love, just enjoy your marriage.

With all my love, 
Andrealphus ❄️