Letter No.11

 Stolas, my dearest,

My phone rang the next morning. I hate when someone wakes me up. How rude it is to disturb me during my daily beauty sleep?!

- Hmh? - I tried to speak, but I was too tired to form any words.

- ANDREALPHUS! You're still in bed? What a shitty prince you are! - as soon as I heard her voice, I jumped out of bed.

- No, Mother, I'm wide awake. I've already watered my garden - I lied and looked out my window, to my ice garden. - How come you're calling me? Who gave you this number?

- I made your sister to tell me. You can't just not come home anymore. How dare you? Where do you live now? Do you eat properly? - the usual parent-questions.

- Mom, just tell me why you called, or hang up the phone.

- Andre! My darling, don't talk to your own mother like that.

- Mom, this is the last time I ask you. Why did you call me?

- Y-you know, your sister is getting married soon... 

~ Ugh, yeah, I know, basically someone mentions it every day since the proposal, but nevermind. - I thought.

- We want you to organise a bachelorette party for your sister! You know, the G A Y S know how to design and organise, and I'm pretty sure your sister would be happy about it...

- Mom, I'm a fashion designer, not some event organiser. You're rich, so hire some famous planner gay, cuz I'm sure I won't work for free. - I immediately hung up the phone. Why does my family think that I would just do free work for them? I mean I can't say I'm not happy for my sister getting married, because I am. I'm just not happy about her marrying MY love. Almost immediately after I hung up, the phone rang again.

- MOM, I think I was clear enough. I WILL NOT WORK FOR FREE.

- Ugh, that sounds like a very serious situation, my darling. - you answered, my dearest prince in all Hell. I'd never speak to you in that tone, I already felt ashamed that you even had to hear that tone of voice.

- Oh, Stolas, I'm very sorry, I thought my mom called me back, I never wanted to yell at you.

- Don't worry, Andy. I- khmm... - You struggled to find the right words. The fact that you couldn't talk to me freely, about anything, in any way, it just broke my heart. - I just wanted to... Do you... I mean... Would you please come to my bachelor party?

- You want me to organise it too?

- Would you?

- No. 

- Then no. I already hired a guy who'll take care of that. It will be gay-proof, I promise. I just want to spend my last night before marriage with you, if that's possible. - YES, YES, YES!! I want to be with you too. But not only for your last night, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.

- Text me the date and address, but let me think about it. - I had to calm down. I had to really think this through, I didn't want to get my heart broken again and again. 

- As you wish, my love. Take care til then. - You hung up, but I whispered: I love you too, my owlet.

I of course, saved the date immediately in my calendar, because I really wanted to spend a last day with you. It was actually our usual spot, at the usual time, one and a half week from now. I didn't realise that your wedding will be happening in less than two weeks. I almost said I didn't have the time to prepare, but I had to realise that I was making both your dresses and you wanted to do it as soon as possible. I spent the rest of the day designing an other suit for you, one that really is your style, one that I'd love to marry you in. I didn't even realise that the whole day passed, it just sucked me in, making something perfect for you. At midnight I looked at the latest sketch and I was satisfied. It was ready. So I quickly rushed into the kitchen to grab some food. Luckily Armel, my chef left a whole meal on the kitchen counter, with instructions for me. I mean thanks, it's nice, but I'm not dumb. I can put a bowl into the microwave. After having dinner, I sneaked back into my room - avoiding the lost night demons in the hallway. I tried to fall asleep picturing you in the suit I designed for you, not for your wedding, but for our wedding. You looked stunning, as always. I soon fell asleep after imagining myself in your arms. In the morning, I woke up early, so I could go into the saloon and finish your wedding suit, and the other suit, for our wedding. I was surprised that I was able to maintain my energy from the day before. I swung into the kitchen to grab my morning caramel latte, and I put on my peacock-themed gown, so I could dance along the day in a real princess-y dress. Moonfluff was surprised that I looked happy, after days of depression, but I actually felt some weird source of good energy that helped me moving on. I sew the last stiches on your traditional, straight marriage suit. I packed it with our finest silky papers and in the fanciest box, and handed it to Moonfluff to call "the client" about their order being ready.

Stolas, I really wish the best for you. But I know the best is me, so I really hope that you'll gain back your sanity very soon and marry the right demon, who was made for you.

All yours,
Andrealphus ❄️

Letter No.10

Stolas, my dearest,

Right after my snacks arrived, and I found the most delicious ice cream, Moonfluff, my assistant called. I didn't even have the mood to put the snacks to their places. They just stayed in the plastic bags on the floor, next to my door. But I actually had to pick up the phone, because they wouldn't call, unless it's an emergency.

- Hello Boss. Sorry to bother, but there's a very important client waiting for you here. They didn't have an appointment, but they say it's urgent. Can you please come back to the store?

- Is it Stolas again? Just tell him his suit is not ready yet, but we'll notify him when he can come pick it up. - I didn't want to meet you again. You disturbed my mind enough for today.

- No, it's someone else, so could you please come in?

- Ah, fine. I'll be there in an hour. Offer them some champagne in our fanciest private waiting room, please.

I hung up the call, and went to the closest mirror to check if I should fix any part of my depressed face or outfit. I got some hellish icy gums to chew til I got there, and tried to force myself to smile. I had no idea who those "very important" clients could be, but I tried to hurry there, so I can come back home and continue doing nothing. When In got to the shop, Moonfluff walked me to the private room, and when I stepped in, I saw that big cock, Asmodeus with his little plaything, Fizzarolli. I forced a wide smile on my face and greeted them.

- Hello, my dears. How can I help you two today?

- We're here for that threesome that Daddy mentioned last time he was here. - said Fizzarolli. I froze. I really hoped he was just kidding. 

- Fizzy! Behave. - said Asmodeus. - This little jester needs something fancy for our special night out. For today.

- Oh, I see. In that case, I can't promise we'll find a perfect fitting outfit, I hope you both understand that.

- Of course, it will be just us, but I want them to wear some fancy lacy lingerie, and a princess gown, if possible.

I saw Fizzarolli rolling his eyes, but it's always the bigboi who pays. And the one who pays, chooses in my shop. At first, I took Fizzarolli's measurements, to calculate a size, then I went out to find every piece of lingerie and princess gown we had in that size for him to try it on. When I got back, those two were disgustingly making out on my clear white couch. I cleared my throat to let them know, I'm back, but it didn't bother them. They continued making out for a few moments, then Asmodeus turned the little jester towards me to let him go and try on the things I got for him. The moment Fizzy took his first step towards the changing rooms, Asmo slapped his butt, and smirked at him. Gross. In understand, lust ring and all, but at MY fashion store? I left the two lustbirds alone, but told Fizzarolli to let me know if I could help him in any way. I chatted with my assistant until Fizz tried on everything. We decided to close early today, since the big man and the little jester were the only customers in the shop by that time. I told Moonfluff to go home, so they did. When our last customers finally decided, I put everything back on the racks. They chose an emerald green lingerie set with a minty pastel green gown. Ozzie paid, and they left. It always feels weird to be alone in the store at night, so I left as soon as possible. I stepped into the closest pub, for just one drink, but right when I got to the bar, someone hugged my shoulders.

- Order anything you want, old friend, I pay. - I heard that very familiar greedy voice.

- Thank you, Mammon. - I ordered something strong, and Mammon pulled me to a private room, and he started dancing with the private stripper. I told them that I really don't have the mood for that right now, so I wanted to leave. But Mammon stepped in my way and locked the door.

- Look, Andy, you clearly need to get something off your chest. Or at least you have someone to forget, so please stay. I pay for your night with this beautiful lady.

- Mammon... Come on. You didn't know? I'm gay. I'm not interested in any ladies.

- Oooo I see what you're trying to do. You want to see my precious body naked.

- No, Mammon, I'd like to go home.

Mammon just started to undress to the beat of the music, pretending like I asked for it. I did not. As soon as he stepped away from the door, I unlocked it and left the pub. It was a mistake to even go there. I didn't ever bother ordering an other shot, or drink, I just wanted to escape from Mammon. I paced back to my castle as fast as I could. I drank my already melted ice cream with a little rum, and then I went to sleep. I wanted to forget everything I saw today at Saloon Uncensored. Yes, even the famous body of that greedy jester. I saw enough naked jesters for that day. I'd prefer seeing you naked, my darling. But I know I never will, since brother-in-laws don't do that.

Take care, my little hoot.

Love,
Andrealphus ❄️

Letter No.9

Stolas, my dearest

The next morning I went to the store to handle Stella's dress, and that only. I didn't want to spend all day working, since we didn't have too many clients for that day, neither anyone famous or important that my assistant couldn't have handled. I immediately went to the back, to see if Stella's dress is still in one piece. I got a bit mad when I saw that it's unharmed. Some time before some hooligans broke into the store and ruined some orders and fabrics, but not this time. There was no break-in that night. So I started thinking about ruining the dress, just like the day before. I thought I could just pull a thread, so it wouldn't be some damage that makes me have to redo the whole dress, just fix it. But the moment I found the right spot for a thread to be cut or pulled, my assistant knocked on the door of the showroom and said there was a first-class client or future client waiting for me in the front room. I told her to give me a second, so she left. I packed my sister's gown and wrapped it to be ready for the transport. I then went out to the front room expecting Mammon or Asmodeus, but instead I saw you. I really hoped that there was an other first-class demon inside, but my assistant directed me to you. We went to a private office to talk. First you started telling me how much you missed me and that you didn't want to marry Stella. I didn't want to hear any of that. I started acting stone-cold.

- Stolas, just tell me why you came to my workplace. You never came here before, so why would you just come here to tell me you miss me? Do you want to see your fiancée's dress or what? I mean you can be sure I won't show you that, because you know, that's bad luck.

- No, Andy. I just wanted to see you... - I don't know if you remember, but I tried to look at you in a "Come on, just tell me finally why you're really here..." - Okay, I need a dress too... For the wedding... I know it's not the best to ask you especially, because of what we had before, but... I want the best... And also our families insist that we'll have matching outfits...

- I see now. - I tried to keep it as professional as I could, but I couldn't look away from your lips, my Dark Lord, I wanted to kiss you so bad. Like do you even realise how you make me feel every time I see you? You'll never know. I was just trying to show you how I feel, but since you proposed to my sister instead of me, I think I failed. And I hate failure. So from now on I'll have to keep it professional. - Come with me.

I showed you some of our suits and male dresses, but I always knew you as the most masculine presenting demon prince of Hell. I told you you could choose any type and we'll fit it to your beautiful body. We also could make them in any colours. And of course I promised to make it the same pattern as Stella's dress. I just jabbered everything with one breath. I could read your face, and you clearly were thinking "Seriously? You will treat me like you would treat any other client? No trace of what we had earlier?" I partly felt hurt for having to pretend like we had nothing, but I was proud of myself for being able to act this good. I should drop fashion and just go for acting... You finally chose 2 styles you liked, tried them on, but still couldn't decide. So while my assistant took your measurements, I drew a quick sketch of combining the two styles, adding some details from Stella's dress, so you could see what it would look like. You came back to the office with your measurements on a piece of paper, and I showed you the drawing. You had a few ideas to make it even better, so when I fixed those details, I stapled together all of your papers and material samples, and I put it away to the urgent orders. I went to the door and opened it to walk you out, since the ordering process was all done. But you closed the door and stepped really close to me. You grabbed my hands and whispered in my ears "I'll always love you, Andrealphus." You sealed your sentence with a quick kiss on my lips, and then you just disappeared. I mean all of this happened in just a few seconds; it was all quick. I was in shock, and I completely froze. If you wouldn't have disappeared then, you could've seen all my professional acting collapse. I'd say that your actions warmed my heart, but the truth is it broke me more. I love you so much, Stolee, I can't even believe I'll have to let you go. I was sitting on the floor, with my back against the wall, when my assistant knocked on the door to tell me that the transporting company is here to pick up Stella's dress. I had to fix my makeup and everything, get myself together to be able to act all professional again. I opened the door in a few moments, grabbed the dress, and gave it to the driver. They promised to handle it carefully, but this time I couldn't say "You better do"... I watched them getting back into the car and driving away. I went inside to say goodbye to my assistant and grab my stuffs. I literally couldn't say more than one word, so I decided to just go straight to home. I texted my chef to prepare my favourite cocktail for me, and I also ordered some snacks online to help me survive the rest of the day.

Please, my love, don't play games with me. You're getting married and I'm trying to get my life together.

All the best,
Andrealphus ❄️

Letter No.8

Stolas, my dearest,

The moment my assistant called me about Stella's dress being ready, you can't even imagine how mad I got. I immediately rushed to the saloon to take care of the dress. Not in the usual, call the client, give them their dress kind of way. I wanted to take it to a dark alley and cut it up into small pieces or burn it, so there would be nothing left of it. Not even a clue that a dress ever existed on that hanger. But the moment before I could've touched the flame of my precious silver-coated lighter to the edge of the smooth silk skirt, I changed my mind. This dress was one of my most expensive artworks. Yes, it was an artwork. I had to think of my sister as a client. Not as someone who took the love of my life away from me. It was very hard. But I had to try. In case I'd ruin her gown, I wouldn't ever make it again. And I know she would never forgive me for "losing" her one and only wedding dress. She would ask me to make it again, or make an other one - for free, of course.

After I put the dress away, in the back of our orders' closet, I told my assistant that they should call Stella to arrange an appointment for her to come and try on the bridal gown. She of course had to take the whole family with her, so that afternoon all of my family members tried to squeeze into the tiny showroom to see Stella in that huge, fluffy, but elegantly beautiful dress. It was unique for sure. Some family members started crying as she stepped out from behind the curtains of the changing room. She almost started crying too. The dress was perfect. But she didn't want to ruin her makeup, nor wanted the family to see her crying. She didn't even have a thought about tears, and makeup mixed with tears ruining her brand new, carefully handmade dress. This made my previous thoughts come back to life. What if a few buckets of different coloured paints accidentally fell on her dress? Or what if some crazy, stoned little imps accidentally scratched the dress to pieces overnight? What if her dress accidentally stayed outside during a huge storm, soaking all layers of fabric and ruining it? One family member started to talk to me, so I had to try to focus my thoughts to be able to listen and reply. I still had a day with the dress in the store, since Stella couldn't take it home with her, so she asked our transporters to deliver it to her tomorrow. After the family left, I kept thinking of ways to ruin my artwork that whole day. When the last client for the day left, I sent my assistant home too. I closed the shop and turned off the lights in the front. I kept a headlight on, in the showroom, to only enlighten my sister's dress. I sat there in the dark, "eye to eye" with that huge white artwork. I was thinking... Maybe I could try to remove one layer carefully to make it less fluffy, less cotton-candy like. Or to make the top see-through. Maybe she would've even liked that option though. She's never been that good girl type. I almost started to cut one of the threads holding one layer to the other, when someone started knocking on the store's window. I carefully switched the spotlight off, and tip-toed to the front room, in the shadows. I could see your always glowing scarlet eyes desperately searching for a living soul inside. I didn't want to open the door for you this time. I was too hurt. I was emotionally overwhelmed. I could not talk to you that evening, when I was ready to make a move to destroy your fiancée's dress. I just quietly watched you knocking again and again, waiting for someone to answer. But I did not. I was already in tears by the time you gave up. Your eyes' glow let me know that you felt very sad too, before you left. I had no idea what you wanted, but I knew you'd never show up at my workplace before notifying me first. I just kept thinking about the reason of your visit. I even forgot about Stella's dress. I just left it there, in the middle of the showroom and grabbed my stuffs. I remembered I had a hoodie of yours hidden somewhere in the shop, so I looked for that and put it on, to hide myself in that oversized, yet precious mess. I walked home, like a stupid high-schooler wearing their boyfriend's hoodie. I don't know why it felt so good to hide in such a casual piece of clothing, but I did it anyways.

When I arrived to my castle, the guards didn't want to let me in, since they knew I'd never wear a hoodie in public, on purpose. But when they successfully identified my royal self, they apologised and walked me to the entrance. I went to the kitchen to cry my thoughts out to my chef. They listened and promised to keep everything a secret. What happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen. They told me that I should've at least listened to what you wanted, so I'll think about it. Maybe I'll ask for the reason of your visit when I see you again.

I miss you, my flaming crimson-eyed demon prince!

With all my heart,
Andrealphus ❄️

Letter No.7

Stolas, my dearest,

The first thing I did in the store was to tell my assistant that Stella will come today too. I had no idea when she'd want to come, but I had to tell my assistant, that no matter who else is in the saloon, they'd have to take over the other client for me, since my sister only wants to work with me, because she can't trust anyone else.

I could imagine only two options: she'd come right in the morning, to be the first client of the day, or she'd get a proper beauty sleep, and only come in the afternoon. Well, she wasn't the first one. After we finished with 7 clients, 4 of them were brides, and we started the 8th client - you wouldn't guess, but also a bride, my sister finally arrived. I already had the sketch prepared, that I drew for her. She came with some pictures of what she had in mind, but when she looked at my drawing, she changed her mind immediately and wanted the dress I drew for her. I brought some dresses for her to try on, which were pretty similar to the sketch in some way, so she could imagine the dress on herself. She tried on every dress I gave her, and also every other style too, to make sure she'll have the perfect dress. My assistant had to deal with 4 other clients during Stella's visit. She just never understands that I have other clients too, and I have to be with them too. So 10 minutes before closing the store, she finally chose the dress I sketched for her, gave me some other details she wanted me to add or change, and she let us take her measurements to start making the dress. She didn't know yet when the wedding would be, but she wanted the dress as soon as possible, so we could improve the details and make sure everything's perfect for the big day.

I won't describe what the final drafts looked like, because it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride's dress before the wedding. And I know you're pretty good at imagining outfits, since you know me very well and I've told you so much about dresses, and I showed you a lot of dresses too. I know you won't see this letter either - hopefully, but I'm just trying to make sure not to ruin your marriage. She told me that money doesn't matter in the making of the dress, but I really hope she'll pay for it, and she won't just say well, it stays in the family, right? No, it doesn't. Our family doesn't produce raw material for my business. They don't help my business in any ways. So I hope she doesn't expect a free 50 000 Mammon-dollar worth of dress from me. 

After she left the store, I put her order to the urgent orders, and served the last customer too. I apologised to my assistant for Stella's behaviour and for them having to serve the customers alone half the day. They said no problem, but I felt guilty, so I told them they get tomorrow as a paid work-free day. I locked the doors after putting everything to its place, and I headed to the closest pub to grab a drink. Saloon Uncensored was known for its strippers in the secret rooms. But this time I wasn't in the mood for any of those shows, so I just sat to the bar and ordered their darkest cocktail, a Black Devil Martini. Thank Lucifer, noone I knew came there tonight, so I could drink that in peace. I mean I could've, but my thoughts just couldn't chill. I was thinking about taking a longer way home, passing by your house. But I realised that it would be a terrible idea, because seeing you, or your place would just break my heart even more. And I just could not handle it today. Stella told me more than enough details about you, the proposal and her plans for your honeymoon. She wants to use your teleporting powers to go to Hawaii or some that kind of nice island on Earth. Now that these thoughts came to my mind, I realised that I'll need a Dark and Stormy rum cocktail, before I left the bar for the night.

After my second drink, I paid and left. I was not really in the mood to walk all the way up to my castle, so I ordered a taxi and told the driver to bring me to the Windy Tips. From there I tried to ice skate to the palace as fast as I could, but it felt like ages til I got there. I went straight to the kitchen to grab a glass of rum, and asked the chef what he made for dinner. Thankfully he made some of my favourite meals, and some blackberry cake for desserts. Even though I felt pretty full after that dinner, I looked for some ice cream in the freezer. I found only a chocolate chip-mint one, so I sat down to watch your favourite telenovela eating that gross ice cream. I hate mint, but I forgot to tell Sergio what kind of ice cream I want them to buy, so they bought this, because the cashier thought everyone loves chocolate chip-mint Ugh. They definitely have never met me. And your telenovela, my dark lord? I can't have worse luck... Today's episode was about a wedding. I'll probably have to remove wedding dresses from my store's offer. I just feel like I could vomit every time someone mentions weddings, bride, groom, husband, or anything marriage related. Maybe I didn't even want to marry you. But I'm pretty sure I want to spend all my life with you. Not as just a brother-in-law. As the love of your life. Because that's who you are to me. The love of my life. My soulmate. Maybe you'll never understand, but I'm almost a 100% sure that I won't ever find anyone I could love at least as much as I love you, and anyone who could make me feel the way I feel with you. You make me feel worthy. Yea, sure, I act confident and I act egoist, I act like someone who loves themself, but little do you know. I hated myself before you. You made me realise that I'm worthy of love too. I deserve love too. I deserve to be cared about. I deserve happiness. It's a little ironic that you showed me these, but now you're pushing me back to that dark pit of self-hate and depression.

I hope one day we'll have the chance to be together again.

Always yours,
Andrealphus ❄️

Letter No.6

Stolas, my dearest, 

The TV was on, at the max volume, but I still could hear you saying the words of your letter... They echoed in my mind for several hours, and I really couldn't sleep... "I just wanted to let you know that I won't marry your sister", but you just proposed to her in the morning... You WILL marry her. I know you didn't want to, because I saw the tears in your eyes... But you still do... You can't say no to your parents... You can't be rebellious just for once. You're "too royal" to do anything like that, right? Why did I ever thought that I had a chance with a big name in Hell, like you... Next time maybe I should try getting together with Lucifer himself, that could be easier probably... Did you ever even try to come out to your parents about being gay? Do they even know I exist?

After overthinking for hours, I finally fell asleep somehow. But after a few hours, I woke up, because I had a feeling that someone was watching me. I looked around, but I didn't see anyone anywhere, and I was pretty sure that noone was in my mansion, and if anyone tried to come near the palace, my guards or Sergio would've texted me about it. I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. My kitchen was relatively far from my bedroom, so my cooks' work and chit-chatting would never bother me. But this time of the night all those long ice-hallways were scary. Every step of mine echoed into the nothingness. I have no idea if I were just hallucinating, but I saw your eyes' scarlet glow reflecting at some parts of the ice floor and walls creating a creepy crimson effect in the night. I don't know if it really was you, or just my half-asleep imagination wanting you to be there, but I don't know which option would've hurt more. If it was you watching me, you didn't say a word. Probably you were depressed too, so I have no idea why you would watch me being depressed... You could've at least laid next to me in bed and cuddled me for a last time without guilt... But you didn't. I made myself my usual spicy Irish Cream tea, with some chili and whisky in it and drank it on my way back to my room. I laid back to my bed, and rolled my weighted blanket around myself, to feel like someone was cuddling me. I stared at the ceiling for a while before I could fall back asleep. The crimson lights were playing on my ceiling too. It probably was not you, because I'm pretty sure you'd at least touch me secretly, or come, lay next to me. The lights probably came from the faraway Imp City's night life. Those little imps always know how to have fun. I've never seen one being depressed...

I knew I had to sleep, because te next day I had to go to work. I couldn't cancel more clients, and I also had to give a VIP appointment to my sister. She wanted the dress to be ready as soon as possible, so she wanted to get an appointment for tomorrow to take her measurements and ideas about the dress. I had to sleep at least 6 hours to be able to listen to her and her plans without crying my heart out again. I tried to think of those crimson lights on my ceiling as if they were you keeping an eye on me. This was the only way I could fall asleep now. I had to make up you being there. I thought about how you were watching me through my window, and how you could just teleport yourself next to me to cuddle me, or just levitate above me to watch me sleep. I have no idea why you'd ever do that, because that's creepy, and also I'm pretty ugly with my cried-out eyes, sleeping like an animal. I just tried to imagine the feeling of you laying next to me, and holding my hand. The memory of that feeling was enough for me to finally fall asleep.

I had some terrible nightmares about the scarlet lights on my ceiling. In my dreams it turned out to be fire. Some raging teenage imps set my beautiful gardens on fire, and half my castle melted that night. Fortunately none of this was true. After my morning cold shower I called Sergio to check my workers' schedule, so only the most essential ones had to come in to work, the others could take the day off, since I had to go to my store for most of today. I did my glorious makeup, but when I realised that today I'll have multiple brides, and even my sister in the shop, I washed it off. It would just get ruined, because even the thought of marriage makes me cry since you told me you had to marry my sister. I put on some less glamorous, waterproof ice-cold blue eyeshadow and some fancy black and white - of course waterproof - eyeliner. I picked a black outfit for today, since I was grieving a relationship. My outfit was a body-fitting floor-length dress, with some black leather high heels, with straps, and I picked out a pair of long, black, silk gloves. I felt like a necklace would've been a bit too much, so I just left my everyday bracelets on, one of which was a friendship bracelet I got from you. I also decided to wear some rings. My deep blue azurite jewelry set matched this outfit perfectly. I completed my look with a solid black and silver purse, and I headed off to work.

Wish me luck for today!

With all my love,
Andrealphus ❄️

Letter No.5

"Andre, darling, it's a pleasure to see you, but I don't want Mammon to find out anything about us. I just wanted to let you know that I won't marry your sister if it would cause you pain. I don't want to be the one to break you. Please let me know if you want me to say no to the marriage and be with you until the end of time.

Love, S."

Stolas, my dearest, 

I had to break my own heart and write you that it's okay to marry her. I wished you two happiness of the best kind. But you can't even imagine how much it hurt to tell you this. I knew our parents would kill you if you said no to the marriage. I also knew that they would kill me too if they found out the real reason. So when the waitress came to collect our empty glasses, not only did I order a Bloody Mary, but I handed her my answer too, to let her give it to you.

"Stolee, I love you both too much to let our parents kill either of you I can't say that. Please just agree to this marriage and be happy. Find love for each other and raise beautiful children.

Best wishes, A."

I thought that if I break myself, your marriage won't be able to break me more. I wished you two the best life, from the bottom of my heart. I really hoped that this marriage would work out for you two. I saw teardrops appearing in the corner of your eyes when you read my note, and you didn't hesitate to teleport yourself to somewhere else, after leaving a huge tip for the waitress. I thought that would be the last time I saw you, but I forgot that your marriage will be a family event, so our ways stayed connected, but in an other way from what we thought. After Mammon got too drunk to be capable of talking more about themself or their tour, we said goodbye, and I made a path of ice for myself, so I could ice-skate home, to disappear as quick as possible. These times I was very jealous of your powers, my dark lord. I wanted to disappear for good. But I also wanted to be with you for one more night. But I knew it wouldn't be right. When I got home, I went straight to bed and tried to fall asleep while hugging my pillow, imagining it being you. I could barely fall asleep.

In the morning after my self-care morning routine the first thing I did was that I called my sister to let her know my new phone number.

- Stella, it's me, Andrealphus.

- Andre! Come home! Our parents were looking for you for one week! Where in Hell are you??

- Stella, I won't go home anymore. 

- Why? Why now? I'm getting married, Andre, I need you to make my wedding dress! Please come home!

- What? You're really getting married? To whom? - I acted excited for her, but on the inside I wanted to cry. I really wanted her to say an other name. An other than yours. Your name belongs to me, Stolas, please don't let anyone ruin this for us.

- You won't believe, but the most glowing scarlet-eyed prince of Hell, your friend, Stolas proposed to me this morning.

- I.. - I stopped breathing for a minute. I knew she was going to say this, but I wasn't ready to hear that. It felt so unreal and unfair. - Congratulations, my beautiful sister! - I couldn't say more. I already had that crying voice, but thankfully she was so excited for the marriage that she didn't even notice. - I- I have to go now, but talk to you later. Bye! - I didn't even wait for her to say goodbye or say anything else, I had to hang up the phone, before I started to cry my heart out.

I couldn't hold back my tears, I had to lock my room's door. I didn't want my servants see me this way. It was so embarrassing. I knew about this for a week, why did it still hurt this bad? I needed to get more tough, more cold. I really needed to get myself stronger. My sister really wanted me to make her a wedding gown? I wish she knew how much that hurt me on the inside. But of course, it's family, and it's money. A royalty like her can't be seen in anything cheaper than one of my personalised dresses. I really needed to get myself together, because I couldn't say no to a job, especially if it was for family. I also didn't want to let any of them see my pain. It would ruin my sister's big day, and nobody wanted that. They would have too many questions. I could lie that those are the tears of joy, and that I'm just so proud of my sister getting married, but I wouldn't be able to keep up the lies for years or even decades.

In my head I knew exactly what kind of dress my sister would want, so I quickly drew a sketch, already in tears, with multiple whining attacks. When I finished, I quickly put it at the bottom of one drawer, and turned on your favourite telenovela, so I "had a reason" to cry my eyes out. I texted Sergio, my number one servant to get me a bucket of marshmallow ice cream with a big spoon. I couldn't talk. I did not want them to know I could be vulnerable. When Sergio came with the ice cream, I didn't open my door, just texted them to leave it in front of my door and tell everyone to take the rest of the day off. Even the guards. But I also told Sergio to let the guards know to still keep an eye on anyone approaching my castle.

The whole mansion became dead silent soon. It felt right to be alone, but it also was a bit scary. I wished you could've hugged me, Stolas. That was the moment I realised how much I needed you in my life. To hug me, to hold my hand, to say everything will be okay, to hold me, to kiss me. To love me more than anything.

Please come back to me, you angelic creature.

Yours forever,
Andrealphus ❄️